Gabby Windey: 'I Don't Think I Would Ever Date a Man Again'

America first met former ICU nurse Gabby Windey when she was a contestant—and fan-favorite—on Clayton Echard’s season of The Bachelor in January 2022. Known for her off-the-cuff hilarious remarks and unabashed honesty (especially during her breakup with Echard), she and fellow contestant Rachel Recchia would later star together in the first joint edition of The Bachelorette that spring. Windey got engaged to Erich Schwer in the finale, but the two went their separate ways shortly thereafter. Windey competed on Dancing With the Stars that fall, where she placed second, followed by a months-long stint touring with DTWS Live! In early August 2023, Windey announced on The View that she was in a relationship with a woman. Now, in an exclusive interview with Glamour, Gabby Windey opens up about falling for girlfriend Robby Hoffman, a stand-up comedian and writer; when she first realized she was attracted to women; and the surprising TV show that was the impetus for coming out.

Because of things I’ve been through in the public eye, from The Bachelor to The Bachelorette, I’ve learned your story really gets told for you through editing, so now I wanted to be able to tell it myself. It’s pretty taboo to out people these days, but there was a fear of that. And I want to be able to talk about my life openly. That’s how people know me. But I don’t think I realized how good it was going to feel to be this open.

Earlier this year I told a friend of mine, who is queer, that something sparked in me when I was watching Perfect Match on Netflix. The show had an openly bi, lesbian storyline with Francesca and Abbey, and it seemed just very genuine. Something inside of me could relate, and I thought, Maybe I need to explore this. I’m 32, and I’ve been through a lot, just like everybody. We all just want to be loved at the end of the day, have a connection, and feel supported. So when I moved back to Los Angeles in March after the Dancing With the Stars tour, I went on a date with a woman I met on the app, Raya. I’d still indicated on my profile that I was interested in men and women, but I wasn’t really looking at the men. Everybody knows me as the Bachelorette and dating multiple men, but I knew if this is something that feels true to me, I had to follow it.

There had been signs since my childhood and you kind of just get to the point where you allow the whisper to get louder, basically. I’ve always felt really emotionally connected to my girlfriends, some of which have ended in breakups so emotional, it feels like how you would in a romantic relationship. And there were probably other things that I just suppressed or told myself was nothing. Sometimes before I went to bed at night, out of nowhere, when I was fully straight, or whatever, I would think, What if I was gay? and then I'd be like, Oh, my God, that’s just a crazy thought that I'm having; it’s Freudian.’ But it became louder and louder. It was almost like I was afraid for it to happen for some reason.

When I would talk to my friends about [the possibility that I was] gay, I was like, “What if I experience this love that I’ve always wanted to experience, but it’s with a woman?” Everyone I talked to was like, “Gabby, this is just a phase. You’re as straight as they come.” But I was just like, “But what if?” And luckily I have that natural curiosity and the strength to listen to myself. Because that’s exactly what happened.