How to Give a Man a Good Massage

Giving a quality massage is one of those things that should technically be easy to do: Oil a man up, rub his body in a way that feels good, voila. But when you're actually on top of a guy and trying your hand at it, your thought process is probably more along the lines of, "Uh, does this even feel good? Because it wouldn't if he were doing it to me." I reached out to sex therapist Ava Cadell, Ph.D., author of Neuroloveology, for a trustworthy how-to that will turn a guy into putty in your hands.

First of all, even with this enlightened advice, you're going to have to rely on trial and error. "A good massage should last as long as the receiver desires it, so it could be anything from a five-minute quickie to a two-hour production," says Cadell. Another area of experimentation: pressure. "Men generally enjoy more pressure than women, but I hate to generalize based upon gender since it's a personal preference that can be influenced by your health, diet, mood, environment, and chemistry with your partner," Cadell explains. For your first few times giving your partner a massage, switch things up a bit to get a feel for what he likes. Don't worry that this trial and error takes away from the overall benefits of massage, which Cadell lists as "relieving tension, improving blood circulation, and being a mutually satisfying way of helping couples exhibit intimacy for one another." Unless you're hurting him, you're doing a pretty good job!

To get the ambience right, light a few candles and put on something that will feel nice if his skin comes into contact with it (think a silk robe, or just go nude after some especially great exfoliating and moisturizing). Have him lie on his stomach, then spread some type of lubricant all over his skin. "Massage oil feels the best, but some men prefer massage lotion or even powder, so be sure to give him some options to choose from," suggests Cadell.

Once his skin is slick, alternate between these four techniques, recommended by Cadell: