Matt Lauer's trainwreck marriage with ex Annette Roque revealed amid troubles with girlfriend Shamin Abas

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: 's 19-year marriage with Annette Roque was reportedly already in shambles before the disgraced was fired by NBC in 2017.

Dutch model , while pregnant with their third child in 2006, accused Matt in of "controlling and cruel behavior" that was so extreme it endangered [her] physical and ," as per . Now 64, Lauer has filed his own papers claiming he was "provoked" by his former wife if he was guilty of any "inhuman treatment." However, sources in his inner circle believe his non-apology is rather telling of their predicament.

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"His friends knew the marriage was in serious trouble," an insider with knowledge told of Lauer, adding, "He seemed totally remorseless." Sources claimed he and Roque had a "secret separation" years before their expensive divorce, and that it was evident their marriage was in tatters when the TV personality admitted he and his wife led separate lives.

Lauer previously described life on the then couple's 40-acre horse farm in the Hamptons as a "dream come true." However, he also let it slip that while his family had lived there for four years, he was situated in Manhattan and only visited on the weekends. "Annette has her horses and the kids out in the Hamptons, while Matt has his own life in the city," a source said at the time, adding, "It's not perfect, but it's an arrangement that suits them."

Sources said that even Annette's family was concerned about her during their turbulent relationship. One family friend claimed Lauer's in-laws remained "deeply upset at the continuing strife in Annette's marriage" and that her mother was "frantic with worry." The exes finalized their divorce in September 2019, and the TV host is rumored to have shelled out more than $20M in their settlement.

Having said that, Lauer's current love life is also allegedly undergoing a rough patch. His longtime partner Shamin Abas is almost out the door due to differences in opinion about their future as a couple. "They have very different ideas on what they want their wedding to be and it's causing friction in their relationship for the first time," an insider told Radar Online. "Shamin wants something on the small side, at the house with a few close friends and relatives. But Matt wants an over-the-top five-star bash with hundreds on the guest list."

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The source alleged that "planning this wedding is causing serious drama" and that Lauer has turned into a "groomzilla." "Matt's treating this as a coming-out party, not a wedding, at least in Shamin's view," the insider continued, "He wants to invite all the celebs in the area and around the East Coast — at least the ones who still talk to him, like Gwyneth Paltrow and Martha Stewart." They added, "Matt's also made up a list of must-haves from china to crystal to the menu. He snaps his fingers and expects Shamin to get it done — and she's fed up!"