Mindy Kaling: ‘You Have to Make Your Imprint and Get Your Coin’

What boundaries do you have now? As in, what do you get sick of people assuming about your life, especially as a mom?

I’m on social media and like sharing with people what my interests are and how my day’s going and all of that, but I do feel entitled to have privacy about my daughter and my relationships. It’s really essential to my life that there be something not everybody knows about. That’s a boundary, but it’s a very small boundary. Everything else I really don’t have any issue sharing.

Have you felt yourself, even among friends, saying, “No, I want to be home now.” What kinds of boundaries, in terms of your social life, have you had to draw, if any?

People may be surprised to hear this, but I think I do have a little social anxiety. Going to parties where I don’t know most of the people is stressful to me. I’ve always had four friends. I’ve always felt, not exactly a loner, but…[for example,] I love the Met Gala, but the no-plus-one thing has always been a real stressor for me. Luckily Anna Wintour made it so that you’re going to a literal museum, where there’s so much to take in. If we weren’t going to a museum and just to an event space, I would need to take a Valium or something before I go because it’s so stressful to me. That’s not really something people know about me, because I am so open to one-on-one conversations like this one. At the Hulu Upfronts—

With your friend George Clooney.

Yes, with my friend George Clooney—that’s an assignment where I have to go talk to advertisers and try to win them over to advertise on my show. I have to be really funny and sell the show, while looking beautiful and like I don’t care about my mission, right? And I’m put in a room with some of the most gorgeous, productive, interesting celebrities. So that was a stressful situation for me. I remember running into Zoë Kravitz and Margot Robbie, two people I really admire. We were chatting, but I had to excuse myself to go study for my presentation. And the entire time in the car ride home, I was feeling so anxious, like, Did Margot or Zoë think I was too short with them? I was worried they thought I was somehow rude or stuck up because I wanted to go over this presentation. Reese was also there, so I texted her to get Zoë’s information because I wanted to just make sure she didn’t think I was that way. Like, who gives a fuck about that kind of thing? [Laughs.] Zoë Kravitz is incredibly cool and popular and is also totally fine with a woman taking 10 minutes to go over her material. But of course, I went to bed, thinking, Oh man, if Margot Robbie thinks I’m snobby, I’ll be really upset! If I had the patience or the time to see a therapist, that would be something I’d talk about with them.