Need Career Confidence? Morning Joe Cohost Mika Brzezinski Can Help

MB: For anyone who loses a job, it is personal. Having said that, you can't walk into interviews wearing that firing across your face and in your posture, and I did. My way of reinvention was to start at the bottom again. I begged for a job at MSNBC doing news cut-ins, which was a huge departure from being a top CBS correspondent. Then Morning Joe came out of the blue because I was in the right place at the right time.

CL: And then you learned that your cohost, Joe, was getting paid so much more than you.

MB: Yeah, literally 14 times more. But Joe had cut a great deal for himself with his negotiating skills. He helped me learn that, and I used some of his skills to fix my problem.

CL: So you were being paid less just because you hadn't asked for more?

MB: Because I hadn't asked in the right way. I tried to fix it four times. I apologized my way in: "I'm sorry. I know this is a bad time for the company. I know I cut the deal, but...."

CL: What finally worked?

MB: When I was ready to walk. That's the ultimate power. I went in and said, "Listen, this show is doing well because of both of us. If you think you can do [as well] with just Joe, cool. If you think I'm part of this, you're going to have to fix the problem." And [my boss] did.

CL: In your book, you and I discuss the idea I have of "provider pride," the sense of accomplishment you get from being a breadwinner, which is something hard for women to embrace. How have you embraced it?

MB: We need to feel that pride. But a lot of women talk about how it's uncomfortable to make more; it shifts the balance of power. [When] I got my biggest raise, I didn't want to tell my husband because I felt bad—but he couldn't have been happier!

CL: So how should a woman start growing her value now?

MB: Sit down and tell a video camera why you deserve a bonus. Watch it and see if you're self-deprecating, if you can't find the words, if you're flinching. Study your posture, your eye contact. If it feels weird, trust me, it's even weirder to look into someone's eyes while negotiating.

CL: What else?

MB: Every time you use the words I'm sorry, think about why you said it, and don't say it again.

CL: But in a negotiation sometimes you do everything right and you still don't get what you want. What then?

MB: That is when you start looking for another job, quietly. You don't play the victim. You do your job with excellence, and you look for another one.